I am also not suggesting that your H thinks its all ok, what I am saying is that this is the MESSAGE you convey when you exchange conversation at all... it may very well be counter to his suspicions, but this IS what is being said when you exchange conversation with him while he's cheating
Shutting him out completely can be deafening... You would be shocked to realize how much postiive impact dead silence from you can have on him...
Have you never had anyone give you "the silent treatment" before?
I think you may be misunderstanding the approach somewhat...
