He's telling friends he thinks we'll reunite

[MarieC]

Hi, Allen,

Thanks for posting this.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough about our interaction. It last less than a minute, no one else was around to witness it. I was polite but walked away after refusing a ride with him. He seemed surprised and shocked by this action on my part, staying in the driver's seat of the car but not starting it until I was over a block away.

I also have been polite but have not picked up on his many attempts to get conversation going in emails over the last few weeks.

I can see the point of what this lady writes (above), but I also think that MWD and DB-ing have some very good points, as well, about keeping some communication open and being willing to talk, and I think I may have made a mistake in my short-to-curt responses to just SOME of the questions he's asked me over the last few weeks in all those emails he's been sending.

I came to the DB forums because MWD's approach makes more sense to me than a lot of other things I've read.

I am beginning to think that I may have made a mistake by "going dim" and refusing to respond to his overtures, because I really don't think that my being cold and unresponsive gives him any incentive to try to come back. I am beginning to think that the DB/Alanon "detaching with love" strategy would be better in my particular case, with my particular husband.

Thank you for your ideas, though, and the quotation above. I will think about both.

Would also like to hear from anyone who is following the DB guidelines on this - or who has been in a similar situation.