When somebody leaves you--especially for an affair--there is a period of weeks-to-months when you pour over every detail of everything that went wrong, a time when you beat yourself up, a time when you become angry at the spouse who has left, the feeling of betrayal.
After a while, you find yourself again, but you have changed, and if you have faced your fears and dealt with the pain and anger and self-doubt, you emerge stronger.
But that time... you felt out of control of your own life.
If your W has moved on and reclaimed control of her own life, you can see why she might not be eager to let you back in her life.
For one thing, she is no longer the person who would have sacrificed almost anything to save the M anymore. She is somebody new. Now, here you are, and you are back in a place she has moved on from, and I doubt she wants to go back there.
To her, it might look like a step backward, and let's face it, you cannot go backward in time even if you wanted to go back.
There is no going backward. You can only go forward. You need to move on from trying to win your wife back, and move on to being a better man, a better father, and so on ... for now.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
