You can't "make" anyone grow up, unfortunately. Even if they have a child and that child needs an adult in his life.
Here's the good news--you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You have done this before. You can fill your life with good, positive things. This is fabulous--your S needs you to be this person, and to stop letting his dad suck you back into his drama.
Your S is going to suffer whenever you let it happen--just like dad can't let go of the phone? Mom can't let go of the dad, and give S the attention! That's all he knows--you getting sucked back is no different than his dad.
Be different--be the one that focuses. Learn, grow, find out why in the HECK you picked this person (ok, now forgive yourself.lol) but resolve to not be like him any longer.
Your S is a wonderful gift. He will be your little buddy. My son is now 14 and is fantastic! Focus on him and be the absolute BEST mother--he can grow up to be a wonderful man, but you have to focus and be a wonderful mom. Good luck!
