Standing, When DB'ing becomes unhealthy

[fudwoman]

Hi all,
I guess in a way I don't have anything of substance to add here but I've been reading this thread with great interest because in many ways it speaks to where I am at right now and all of my questions and fears. I don't think there is any 'winning' this debate - each person's experience is unique. BH I'm a numbers person too - it's what I do for a living - but I'll be the first to admit that when it comes to an individual case - stats mean a hill of beans. There are odds and then there is your reality. Sometimes people's beliefs are based on deep faith - like Laura Munsen. Sometimes people's beliefs are based on fear - pure and simple - like mine. I have no inner wisdom that my H will decide our marriage is worth another shot. I just have horrendous fear that he won't. If I'm honest with myself I will admit that fear is the core of my 'hopefulness'. I don't think that's true for everyone though. In the end - whether we have the illusion that we can fight reality or not - we all have to surrender to life as it comes. Every day I have a choice to be brave and face my fears or to hide - sometimes I hide because it's all I can do but at other times I find the strength to face my deepest fears. Everyone has the right to make that choice based on an internal compass not based on aggregate data.

I hope I've made some sense.

A