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Hi there. Greek suggested I link my existing to this topic as I just discovered an EA; possibly PA.

Please have a look and offer any advice you can.

I'm boiling.

Not sure how to insert a link to my Newcomer thread but here goes.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2021595#Post2021595

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Originally Posted By: Callasdad
Ok, EXPERTS. She's busted! My flowers sealed the deal. She asked if I had input on the flowers. I said yes, pionees and lillies. She sai that's what she got. Then, brazen as all hell, she says "and later in the afternoon I got more but there was no card. Probably everyone at work since I was nervours about practical jokes on my b'day". I said that's nice.

What she wasn't thinking about is there are only two flowershops in the town she works. Further, the clerks are female and usually sensitive to stories about "potential stalkers" and " my wife is crying right now". Coughed up the name (a coworker- a guy who actually participates in a manufacturer program I run in West Canada); the card was there and he hand wrote it so the girl didn't see it. All I needed.

So, if the card was inappropriate enough for me not to see or for you to acknowledge was even present, then this relationship is inappropriate at the very least. I don't have evidence of PA but close enough. I even have the guys cell number on his card if I could access her phone records.


Can't believe she'd even mention this -- she IS getting brazen and sloppy, which, from my own experience, means it's been going on for a while. She's either looking to get caught or thinks she's so clever at hiding the affair that she can say or do anything and you'll remain totally clueless (which fuels the excitement).

Well, at least now you have a name.

I'll defer to one of the veteran guys like Puppy or Allen on how to proceed, but would suggest that if you have someone who can keep an eye on OM and report suspicious activity, to do so. The more ammo you have, the better.

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Thanks, SR.
I'm going to continue to log on the other thread so I can keep it all in one place.

Last night was interesting,too.

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I would go strait to the O/M and tell him stay away from my wife etc.


Me 37
Waw 32
son2
bomb 8/11/09
O/M 12/25/09
Divorce filed 8/25/09
divorce finale 6/16/10
Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10
Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
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Find out if OM is married... Get his address... Don't bother phoning him... get INTEL on him first

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Thanks, A.
I have address, cell number, work location. I have his business card! What type if intel do I need? He isn't married. I'm considering have an "associate" tail my wife Friday after work to see where she goes. She's been saying "beer night with work" for 6 weeks. I'm wondering how many people from work or just him? And he lives in that town, too.

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I would go to his place of work with two friends and confront him oturight in public...

Stay away from my wife you sleazy creep, etc...

It's a brute force method, but if he knows you know where he is and you have two "yes men" behind you he will likely cower away... men who prey on vulnerable marriages in secret are COWARDS...

Humiliate him at work, that should wake him up and scare him off...

Make sure he knows you have his home address too...

he will TRY to pretend he has no idea what you're talking about in front of otehrs, or he will try to steer you into an office to talk in private... REFUSE.. just keep telling him to back off of your wife.. make a HUGE SCENE

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WRite the script out ahead of time, so you have the confidence to intimidate him... be sure to bring some pals with you, that's going to add additional intimidation

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Only problem is that they work in the same office. And his boss is a longtime acquaintance/ex co-worker of mine. I'm afraid it will be as much an embarrasment for them as it will be for him. Plus, it now tells her that I know "something" and, quite frankly, I don't know "enough" yet. While they think I know nothing, they'll continue to be sloppy as evidenced yesterday.
My thought not yours.

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Yup... I get it, but if you let this run longer its just going to be EXPONENTIALLY harder to end it... the sooner you hit this HARD the better

I don't think you need more evidence... you are just warning him to back off...

if you dont want to do it at work, do it outside his home.. somewhere public.. with some friends

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