Dayana, You are not crazy, your H is blackmailing you it's called emotional blackmail- If you do this then I will give you what you need.
You be very clear about the behavior you need to see from him consistently in order to feel safe and loved. Follow his actions not his words. Read up on "boundaries" and "emotional blackmail." If you really love your H you will make him own up to his responsibilities in all of this mess. If you don't you can't fully trust him or respect him which is no way for you to live.
Trust and respect are earned. Make him show you his commitment to his family. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
