Marriage seemed great until about 5 months ago. Recently I confronted her re decisions she was making without consulting with me and in the conversation I asked her was she unhappy with our marriage. She said yes and that she wanted out. No big reason just that we were more friends than husband and wife. We have one kid each from a previous marriage.
The day she told me she also stopped wearing her wedding ring. No other person involved as far as I know although there may be an EA ( not really sure ). We have been together 10 yrs.. Without pleading or begging I told her even though I can manage without her I would like to try and save the marriage and work out our issues. She commented things would have to change which I agreed but she would not tell me what she needs so I am not really too sure what to change other than the way we communicate. I am giving her space to figure things out and at the same time changing some behaviors I have which I know annoy her. She has told friends that there is no possibility of getting through this.
Since and before then things have been pleasant. We watch TV and laugh together. We sleep in the same bed spaced apart but usually end up closer but not touching in the morning. If I head up to bed earlier than normal she will go at the same time ( which I think is a good sign ) I think she is on the fence re leaving right now. She will always initiate a kiss before heading out but has given up a goodnight kiss. She has not started any actions towards leaving as far as I know. She asked about remaining best friends and I was quite upfront that I cannot do that and if she moves out or forces the sale of our home that I will just move on. That is the truth . I will try anything I can to save this but I really enjoy my life except for this bit and intend to keep doing so. I love her BUT do not need her.
The problem is I am walking on eggshells. She has said some inappropriate, demeaning stuff to my kid (13) which I cannot allow to go on, and need to call her on it which is probably not going to go down too well and I have no idea how to phrase it. But as a father it is my responsibility to address it. Also I cannot afford to let her think she can call all the shots here. If I do that I feel it will upset the balance of things. Up to now we have always had a very equal and respectful relationship.
Big Question
As she doesn’t wear her ring should I take mine off too. Does she see the fact that I leave mine on as a sign I am pleading with her to stay. It seems she is very mixed up right now and I would like to make sure I send her the right signals. Appreciate some advice on this, it seems small but also very symbolic ( at least for me ).
