still separated, headed for D?

[WhatNow]

Wow. He sounds under pressure.

[WhatNow]

My mom kept her name the same, Mrs. X. It was easier for her to have the same name as us kids. I was thinking I would do the same.

You sound as if you have a sense of relief to be out of limbo.

[newmama]

I don't know if it is relief. I didn't mean to sound upbeat! I am just prepared for this I think.

You won't find me in the "Divorced but not done" thread, that's for sure! I mean who knows in the future but I am not hoping or pursuing or anything. Divorce is what it takes for me to DROP the ROPE.

[CityGirl]

You do sound very centered and that is very good. I am sorry your H sprung this on you w/o any discussion and I am glad you were able to voice that to him.

I am also glad you let him know you were keeping your options wide open about moving your future.

Lastly, very good on the "you don't live here anymore" line to your exH.

You handled all of this VERY well (past and present) and for that you should forever be proud of yourself.

I can sort of relate to what you said that being divorced won't be much different than what your life is right now (as in the logistics of it all). I felt the same way. My H and I didn't live together and we might as well had been divorced. Once our separation was final (legally through the courts) it was him that sort of felt the reality of it all. For me it really wasn't much different except our admin stuff was structured and not quite as "loose".

Anyhow, I am sorry things didn't work out as you had hoped they would but I am glad you are what you are.

Take care!

[Seeing Red]

You are SO strong, girl!

I hope that if I'm ever served with papers, I'll be as calm, cool, and collected as you!

You're my role model for grace and dignity!

[Babydoll]

(((NEWMAMA)))

i dont even know what to write...

sending you a )))HUGE HUG(((

[courageous wife]

How are you doing NM?

You are one of the strongest most optimistice people I have read posts on this board! You have done things you didn't think you could do and have taken on many challenges and succeeded! You have continued to amaze your H throughout this whole thing so far! YOU will be alright no matter what happens! Keep doing what you have been doing cause it sure is working for NM!!!

(((hugs)))

[Piano]

NM, it's taken me 24 hrs to write, I was so choked up to read your post, and really I just want to give you so many big hugs.
I can see how strong you are today, in the face of receiving those papers, your WH's text message..the lot. I just know you will be okay, because you are really one of a kind - intelligent, thoughtful, caring, giving. I wish I was half the "LBS" (horrible term!) that you have been. Grace and dignity all the way.
And NM, you have helped so many of us here. I hope you will continue to do so, but also keep us up to date with how you are feeling and what you are doing. Will you do that?
Your WH is never going to get over leaving you.

Peace NM. We are with you.

[Seeing Red]

NewMama,

Been thinking about some of your recent posts and am not sure his filing is a "done deal" - unless you want it to be.

He:
*Held off nearly a month before telling you he'd filed
*Is moving closer to you to "be near son"
*Has been texting regularly
*Stared at your hand when you touched his arm recently, as if he was surprised that he was still attracted to you
*Was surprised that you were thinking about moving

I may be wrong, but he sounds like he filed under duress from OW. Check with forum vets "Greek" and "The Wifey" - they both had WAS who left, filed, and then returned. I'd also solicit a man's take on the matter from Puppy and Allen.

Just a thought. Do with it as you will...

[newmama]

Hi, I will be checking in from time to time to post on others' threads but I don't know if I'll have much to say on mine!

I think I am in shock. I haven't cried at all yesterday or this morning. I was exhausted and tried to go to bed at 5:30 but wasn't THAT tired, I guess! So I crashed at 8.

I got the acceptance of service paper notarized and had it ready for WH this morning when he picked up S. He looked at it like "Oh. Ok."

Yes, I believe he is being pressured but he is a 34 year old man and is capable of standing up for himself if he wanted to! Also he must want to be with her, at least for now. I mean he is moving in with her into a new place in a nice neighborhood, leasing for a year. He could have said no at any step of the way. I am sure he is buying new furniture for the place.

And Red, I do appreciate your optimism! But I am going to just let the divorce happen. If he decides to stop it in the process, I would be amazed, but it would show he still is strong after all. I do think he is moving to my town to be closer to S. (He is seeing me the same amount regardless of whether he lived in the town 25 miles away or not) I do think he is finding that he is still attracted to me, so that should make him think twice about how he said "those feelings are just gone." I think his texting is just because I initiated the texts.