Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

IDU,

I guess for me feeling good is relative.

I just discover so many more things W does to me, and I lose hope sometimes, and I guess today it got the better of me. I find that I become emotional sometimes when someone says something to me, and it hits me a certain way.

I always want to give support to everyone, but it is extremely hard sometimes, but I do find that helps to help others. I am so glad that I am able to give you support and that you appreciate it.

I know my mom is right as well as everyone here. I try not to let myself get down about it as much. I do not believe I deserve what is happening to me, nor does anyone else here. I have to believe that I will be okay no matter what too. I do not ever see reconciliation with her as possible. I could never be with her again even though I love her still after what has happened in our M. I am done, but I just have not let go of the feeling I have for her yet.

My only concern is for my kids that I love so much. They deserve to be happy even if I am not at the moment.

I do miss the companionship of the opposite sex so much. It is just I do not miss the pain that it has brought to me. I never want to feel this way again in my life. I guess I have trust issues with starting a relationship. I know there are alot of great woman out there. I see so many wonderful woman on here. I just don't see myself with anyone else other than my STBXW. I married forever. Even if we are D I do not want to break that vow I made to myself either even if we are D in the eyes of the law.

Maybe I will feel different in the future, but I just don't see that happening for a long time.

You help me in so many ways just having your support. You understand me and my sitch so well. Thank you for taking the time to help me through this so often!