I've been on and off the site since nov 09. Originally "here we go again".
Short end of story: H left me when i was 4 months pregnant.
Obviously I have not set boundaries and have not followed thru with them. We seem to have moments where we are okay and then a week or so will pass and we don't speak or him seeing the kids.
When he's angry he says he's going the next day to file, hasn't happened yet. i ask what his intentions are for filing for divorce - it gets ignored.
I think nah I know we are both confused, neither of us are making any concessions for the other, or should i say we are not doing something the other wants changed in the relationship.
he goes from one day planning a family vacation together, to taking me to airport to screaming at me he want's a divorce.
i guess i need to look at triggers. i was in seattle with both kids for d18 graduation, horrible flight stuck overnight in another city, broke my storller and it goes on and on from there.
anyways the next day when we finally, me and kids got into our hotel i called him. he was sitting at his works bar having a beer. i lost it got so angry and then our convos went downhill
he didn't pick up us from airport couldn't/wouldn't leave work to get us till 4 hrs after flight, me kids just took a cab ride home
back to convos of don't call him, leave him alone etc. to he comes over to give me diapers, dog and cat food. my car is parked at his house broke, been without it for a month.
if i could play a guessing game he is wanting to see a change in me, i did embrace his family, talk to his mom more then him. that was his major issue or one he voiced.
i don't know if i should just do whatever as in nothing or propose counseling?
let me see from michelle's standpoint: is there something telling me he wants to remain married: he hasn't filed for divorce.
is there something in actions that is telling me he wants to work out marriage? NO, i feel like he is just testing me, waiting and seeing. he went so far as to pose the "friend" thing then took it back with wanting to divorce. he wont say to work on marriage but i don't think he has to say it but it would be nice. is he doing anything in actions that appears he's working on us? difficult to answer.
so what will help me?
start exercising been working on house painting spring cleaning looking at groups to join in meet up website reconnected with best friend (male)
do i want to save my marriage? I think so. so i need help in laying out a plan to first figure out if i want to really save my marriage, 2 what steps to take in reconciliation direction if i chose that path, i know all to well how to get divorced - 2 prior.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline