For us, we did not talk about whose decision it was. I did let her really say much of it, though. Yes, they had all sorts of questions. And they asked questions that they hoped would have the logical answer "oh, we shouldn't get divorced after all."
"Do you love each other." Yes, we do, but the marriage wasn't working. "Am I going to see you." Yes. They were afraid I think that I was going to disappear from their lives. Tell them that isn't going to happen. At some point they asked HER if I had a girlfriend. Nice. She handled it gracefully though - I know I can trust her when it comes to my relationship with the boys.
Tell them what you know - someone's going to move, but you don't know when yet. Give them a lot of advance notice for the changes that are going to happen.
They caught on to our money worries too. The boys' "family therapist" said that they would ask questions about the basics. Food to eat, etc. (Actually, if WE would be OK).
I guess I think the best thing is to tell them the basics of what's going on - we are going to get a divorce - without a lot of detail. Then let THEM ask questions about what they're concerned about. Address their questions and fears.
Yes, be there. These are your kids. Their well being is first, they have nothing to do with the divorce or who initiated it.
