Not sure which way to go anymore

[Abbey]

Mystik,... I was going twice a week during a portion of my down time. She was worried about me, my friends were worried about me, .... IIIII was worried about me.

Hard to get your head heading forward when you have the added fun of trying out medications.

One minute, five minutes... that's all you should be dealing with at this moment. Once you get the right cocktail, ... things will start to smooth out a bit.

You will look back and realize that you did accomplish things... each one a victory for your survival.

And believe me when I say... there were times where, if it weren't for my cats... and me worried about who'd look after them... I'm not sure I would have had the will to "go on", at times. 1 minute at a time, 5 minutes at a time.

He's screwed in the head... you deal with you... try to close him down in your head as much as you can. Yeah, I know... feeling like you're a deer in the headlights makes that feel impossible... but you *can* put him in the place in your mind where he needs to be. This gives you the time to become the person only an idiot wouldn't want to be with. Look at this as your time to figure out you and polish some of the rough edges.

big hugs,
Abbey