The story of us

[elvencat]

I want to respond to a couple of things real quick, but I promise I'll read the whole story and post more later...

its basically like mirroring his communication style he could have written the letter himself. i hate hate hate talking that way, believe me.

Regardless of your specific situation, if you hate acting a certain way but are doing so in the sole hope of trying to please someone else rather than for making yourself be a better person, it won't help you in the long run to act that way.

but i think it may be the right thing to do.

Only you know your exact sitch, but again, I feel that acting in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself is not a good idea for long term happiness.

i never have said anyting he did wrong. he beat me severely with a belt, cheated on me and all the while i took responsibilty for it all... its a hard one...

In this email, you are trying to ask him to come home and work through issues, or finalize divorce proceedings. Do you think your email will get this message through effectively, or will bringing out all these things now instead of at a future date when you are more secure in where your relationship is (where ever that may be) lose the message in the details?

I understand you do need to tell him these things (for your own piece of mind), but is this the right time to do so? Picking the right battles is a difficult thing.

i will consider what you said but i dont know if in my case its the right thing to do. i have been a spineless fool for so long

Being a victim of abuse does not make you spineless. I've been both a victim and a witness of different types of physical and mental abuse. Psychologically you are made to feel you deserve it. You don't, never did and now you are beginning to realize it. That makes you a very strong willed person to face the reality and want to change it. Many victims of abuse cannot do that.

Whatever you decide, make sure you do it for you.

I'll read the whole sitch... I can see there is a great deal of backstory, but I wanted to let you know that I feel there are some things that are true, no matter what your situation and wanted to tell you that.