WAH and LBW separated and dark

[DumpedforMIL]

You have to understand that it is easy to push someone away with words. You just need to watch for when you are coming on too strong.

i agree. looking back, i shouldn't have knocked on his door.

But it is not the road block you think it is. Michelle focused on the chasing because it is the first thing 99% of people do. It is not the act of chasing that is at fault. It is that people keep doing it even when it is failing. Chasing the cheese! (You did read the books right?)

i didn't read DR. i read DB.
i have to order DR.
i have been pretty laid back. i haven't done much to 'chase' even when the d-bomb was dropped.
for me, my pride stopped me from pursuing. why should i pursue someone who obviously found me revolting? i'm better than that.

I think that if you can get the sleep.. eat right.. and work on yourself. You might be surprised at what you can accomplish. Remember anger needs something to feed on.. so it will keep you going in a circle. If it is overwhelming.. then again.. go see the doc!

i want to share with you something that really bothered me about my ic session.

i was still very angry when during my last ic session.
she has been trying to get me to 'move on' because he's checked out.
i said i have no closure. and she said i may never get it.
this made me even more angry because it meant that i had no say in the matter. i had no control.
i said the only explanation i had was the fertility issue and how i suspected that the problem was with him.
she said that is possibly the reason.
to which i loudly responded (and i'm talking to her as if i was talking to him) "if it is the case, then he should man up and say it! don't point the finger at me and say that i'm not ready for motherhood. if the problem is in him, then he should man up and admit it! to shift the problem to me is called being a coward. to run away the problem is being a coward."
she later said to me "you seem to have enough reasons as to why he is walking away. don't you think that is enough to give you closure?"
this irritated me even more because you know.. it's called mind-reading. is that really closure? no.
mind-reading != the truth (for those of you who know C/C++).
side note: i wouldn't be surprised if he was afraid to tell me the truth because my reaction in the ic office would have scared the living daylights out of me too.
but i left my anger in that office. once i left the office, i carried on my day.

"we ended up playing a game that night."

That is some "Crazy Talk!" right there!! No WAY! I was sure he hated you and never wanted to see you again! God.. I hate it when I am wrong!

i'm not whistling dixie yet.
i still think he hates me. i think he's just being polite to improve his own image. it's called damage control.
something smells bad and i'm sure there's a stink bomb somewhere.

I am not sure he could use anything against you. Nothing I have told you to do has the intention of getting a reaction from him. If he is reacting to what I have said.. then he is not very good at playing the game. Cause he is showing his hand.

i'm still skeptical. not that i don't believe in your help.
i just suspect that he's leading me on.
and one day, he'll just unleash a can of hurt on me.
and it'll be "i tricked you and your db friends".
it's a big trust issue between me and h. not a trust issue between you (coach, fg, and lauraoh)

I agree with LauraOH 100%.

She has some very good observations in her post.

i'll keep that in mind. i'll continue to observe and report what i see and hear.

Did you stand up straight? Did you smile?

get ready to laugh at me.
i ran into him in the stairwell. yes, i stood up straight and i smiled. i wasn't sad or anything. but after my brief conversation, i proceeded up the stairs and completely missed my floor. oops.

So.. what you are saying.. is that people that are having fun.. attract people that want to have fun? I was sure I posted that somewhere on here!

yes. i gave that example for a reason.
for part of the night, he was playing with people who weren't friendly and you could tell he was not having fun.
but when my friends and i were doing drills and hassling each other, he asked if he could join in and you could see that he immediately had a smile on his face.

i hope you don't think i'm being negative.
i'm just proceeding with caution.
i'm not excited about anything yet.
i still believe that i'm going to get fooled in the end.