On Facebook last week I guess she put on her wall that she finally found herself and that she hopes people will like the new her. (a friend showed me becasue I am not a friend of hers on Facebook) Well as far as I can tell nothing has changed. She lets her family walk all over her and smiles as she says thank you for them doing it. But then she can't be close to me. WTF?
My heart goes out to you about the negative influence your in-laws have on your W. You have to look at that as being a challeng so that resentment will not turn your heart sour.
You said this to me a while back Sandi. I feel that is how I am starting to feel now through all of this. The longer this goes on, the less that I feel I want to be with her. I know I should not feel this way, but I feel awful and hurt and abandoned. All I want is my life back. I do not feel like I have any control over that. I am having more bad days than good again. I think I am gonig to have to start going to IC more often now. Althought I really do not feel a lot of good comming from that. I do not want to get depressed again but I can feel it creeping. I just want to be loved again. If this keeps up I am going to end up in the hospital again, maybe a morgue this time. I hurt so bad.
On Facebook last week I guess she put on her wall that she finally found herself and that she hopes people will like the new her. (a friend showed me becasue I am not a friend of hers on Facebook) Well as far as I can tell nothing has changed. She lets her family walk all over her and smiles as she says thank you for them doing it. But then she can't be close to me. WTF?
What control do you have over any of that?
Focus on your actions, thoughts and feelings.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
If she kisses you, enjoy it and kiss back! Make it passionate~
She invited you into the pool, she offered the kiss. She IS feeling better about you.
Keep that in mind with every interaction, SSM
It sure does not feel tat way. I seems more and more that she is trying to find a way out. But just trying not to hurt me. As if that ship has not sailed.
On Facebook last week I guess she put on her wall that she finally found herself and that she hopes people will like the new her. (a friend showed me becasue I am not a friend of hers on Facebook) Well as far as I can tell nothing has changed. She lets her family walk all over her and smiles as she says thank you for them doing it. But then she can't be close to me. WTF?
What control do you have over any of that?
Focus on your actions, thoughts and feelings.
I know that I have zero control over that. I was just Ttryibng to figure out her state of mind. Where she is.
I am really at a loss for the whole thing today. Maybe I am just in a bad mood or maybe I am just worn out with all that is going on. I know that today is a day I could really use the closeness we used to have so that I can give her a huge hug and let her know what is going on to get it oput of my head. But I know that is the worst thing I can do. So in the meantime I will continure to sit here and suffer. Put on a big smile when she gets home and act like nothing is wrong just like the last few months. I HATE THIS!!!
If you had to choose between blowing up or asking her to just listen to what your heart is holding, which would the better choice to you?
You can tell her. It might be counter productive, and it might not be. If you've figured out what emotional needs and concerns she has had, you should know if she wants more or less disclosure from you. If she wants you to open up to her more, then one dialogue won't hurt that much. If you do it though, practise it and make sure it isn't negative, angry, or threatening. You might get backlash...that is the chance you take. It might also help. Who knows? Every woman is unique as is every man.
SMM - I'm going offline from these boards, but I wanted to remind you to focus on your relationship goals with your wife...keep working and you'll be happier! OTMT.
