Has your W dropped the lawsuit (RE: custody?). Have you spoken with your attny about your present situation?
One thing my attny suggested to me (and this really is probably more suited to residents of NY state) is if a reconciliation does happen it is very wise to have a post nuptial agreement drawn up. My attny even said he didn't care what firm I used but please, please do that if my H and I did reconcile. It doesn't have to be some big to do, it's merely a document that both spouses agree to and sign. And let's face it... after you have been wrapped up in divorce/separation/custody litigation of any kind in this state it seems like a pretty reasonable idea.
I know it's not terribly romantic but for me, all this BS was MORE THAN ENOUGH one time around, lol!