Positive Lifetime Attitude Award Goes to...

[lalxx]

Hi there,
I know my husband and I fell into a rut - a really big rut - each one of us would talk about how we felt - we'd agree to do something about it and then our best intentions would fall by the wayside as 'real life' kicked in.

We allowed the 'c' word to slip into our marriage (and by that I mean complacency).....the last year of our marriage was spent entrenched in positions whereby each of us believed we had 'changed and moved and bent enought' to try and accomodate the others' wishes and my husband definitley felt that he ahd bent enough and was at breaking point. Our marriage just wasn't worth it anymore.

I have to say that our marriage was passionate and expressive and full of love and energy - until the last 9 months where he couldn't even look at me - we still did all the soppy stuff (cards, flowers, sex texts, overnights in hotels when we could.....)

My husband would speak in riddles and forget conversations which contributed to my exasperation with him - I understand now it's MLC but at the time I was floundering and didn't understand what was happeneing.

I tried several, what I now know as 180's, in the last 3 months we lived together in an effort to become the person he said I wasn't anymore.

My husband gave me enough clues in retrospect and these are the ones I have searched out, tried to understand the 'why' question in my dark hours and decided to work on. I am not excusing his behaviour - he had choices and he made the wrong ones in my view but what's done is done, I cannot waste anymore of my energy on the 'woulda, coulda, shoulda' type analysis.

All I can do is shape my future from the embers of my past, keeping loving him, keep detached and give myslef a clear head to make choices in my future.

((hugs))

lalxx