That's where I am. I love her and I want to keep this marriage going but in her current state she's not good for me. I'm setting some boundaries and letting her have her life. If she comes back, fine. If not, that's fine, too. I'm making the changes I need to make in my life to be a better man and a better father and I'm looking out for myself and my son. What she does or does not do is up to her.
She is now resisting any further counseling and she has "lawyered up" so that's the direction this seems to be headed. As painful as it is, I'm OK with it. I'll get a lawyer to look over the paperwork and as long as I'm protected and my relationship with my son is protected I'll sign it.
I won't be mired in the past. I won't be the only one to take ownership of this. I won't be portrayed as the villain nor will I allow her to portray herself to me as the victim. I won't stand for any more emotional blackmail. I won't stand for her overstating in extremes such as "always" and "never" and I will no longer stand for her negating my feelings.
Those are my parameters and they are things I can control. In each situation I can walk away, hang up or otherwise end the conversation. This is what I have to to in order to preserve my self esteem. Ultimately, this will make me a better person and a better father. That's all that matters right now.
