I am sorry--really I am. I have some thoughts if you don't mind...
But first, I have to say that I have more votes to "go ahead and smash" then not, so....that actually is making me feel better!
Detachment is your friend here. I read that part of her having everything, and I thought wow--we sure see things differently. To me, she is a.spoiled b. a user c. boring and all that adds up to an UNATTRACTIVE person.
There is no growth in her. She is perpetually going to be? a teen?? Supported and cared for by her parents?? This is an interesting woman?
I know there is plenty to focus on that is negative. You have GOT to get past that and see the positives. Your attention and focus and drive for your kids. That is huge. You may not have ever had it if you had stayed with her (being the perpetual teen that she is--she sounds draining) Especially the focusing you will have developed. The attention to small details. I will bet that she will always be jealous of you and your abitilty as a father--it will surpass hers soon, if it hasn't already.
These are gifts that you need to open and treasure and be grateful for. There are more--you have to look for them.
The sooner you focus on the positives in this sitch, and the sooner you detach and really "see" her, the sooner you will be able to focus on the important stuff.
And making waves in their little "fantasy" of you being perpetually at their back-and-call is good too. My H thinks of me as a servant. I have run around for years doing his bidding and trying to be "nice" all the time.
I'm slowly and steadily releasing my inner "bitch".lol. But seriously--it seems to be working!! Where's my sledgehammer!!
