hey Save- I'm sure you'll get some good responses from folks on here with helpful insights. It does sound like you have made some positive changes and I applaud you for that. How is your communication with your wife about this stuff? I get the impression that there has been a total lack of communication on the important stuff in your relationship- perhaps her shutting you out is a response to you withdrawing? If I were in your shoes (and I am not), I would suggest you two take your own vacation for a couple days- somewhere she would really like to go, have some fun, and see if you can have some real conversation too that is positively oriented toward change. You might tell her about your commitment to her, the M, and your own health and the steps you are making to make all these things better (she may not be reading your mind). I would also tell her that infidelity won't be tolerated, plain and simple. That means EA or PA, and maybe you need to spell out what an EA is. I think she'll respect you more if you really put your foot down. Folks here also mention Retrouvaille (sp?), but I don't know much about that. Reconciliation is possible, but you may have a long road ahead of you. The good news is, it sounds like you've already come quite a distance.
