Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[Bridgestone]

Her parents, and his big sister, have even been berating and belittling my son on FaceBook because he wants to stay with me!

And I'm assuming you are printing those off & forwarding to your lawyer and the GAL as evidence?

[antlers]

My son shows them to me because it's upsetting to him. He doesn't want to print them off. And he deletes them after he shows them to me. I can't print them off because I don't do FaceBook. But I do send E-mails to the GAL and my lawyer describing what is going on. That's all I can do under the circumstances!

[poet]

No one can force you to do what you don't want to do, but the best advice has already been given. Find a way to print them off....(suggestion) tell your son not to delete them until they are printed off. (strong suggestion)

Hint: I have been providing my atty with emails and Web sites for more than a year. She used one of them already in a hearing, and the judge ruled in my favor. (Not saying this was the tipping point, but it certainly helped persuade him, I'm sure).

[antlers]

This afternoon...

Me: Son, do you still have that stuff those people wrote to you on FaceBook that upset you?

Son: Yep, still have it.

Me: I wish you would make a copy of that stuff for me.

Son: How many copies do you want?

Me: One will be fine.

Me: Thank you son.


And later on this afternoon, the GAL called me and wants to set up an appointment to meet my son. I'll be taking those copies to give to her. My youngest daughter refers to me now by my first name! She doesn't say "dad"' she says "antlers"! She's heard her big sister doing it recently, so now she's started doing it. When she mentions me to others, it's "antlers" and not "dad"! That hurts.

I've got to handle him (my son) with kid gloves. He's so messed up because of the last 18 months, and especially because of the last 8 months.

[Coach]

My youngest daughter refers to me now by my first name! She doesn't say "dad"' she says "antlers"! She's heard her big sister doing it recently, so now she's started doing it. When she mentions me to others, it's "antlers" and not "dad"! That hurts.

to me that would be unacceptable and time for a boundary. your wife is teaching your daughters how to disrepect a man. you are those girls Dad & Father. this is a teachable moment between you and your girls. you can handle it. your daughters husbands will thank you for it down the road.

Cheers

Srtength and Honor

[antlers]

I can't teach them if I'm not around them.

I haven't seen my oldest daughter since last October. Her choice. She told me that night that I was still her dad and that I was the only dad she'd ever known.

I haven't seen my youngest daughter since she and her younger brother and I got back from Spring Break in mid-March. Her choice.

My oldesr daughter's mother has done a 'number' on her for the last 18 months, and especially for the last 8 months. My youngest daughter's big sister, and her mother, have done a 'number' on my youngest daughter for the last 18 months, and especially for the last 8 months.

They have been less successful with my son.

[sandi2]

Hey sweetie. So sorry that you have had to suffer like this. You really fought hard to save the M! You have always been valuable to the board and you continue to be b/c you have learned so much from your personal experience. I hope you will read this Newcomer's post and perhaps give him the advise he needs. When I read it I immediately thought of my old friend Antlers....and I knew you were the man to talk to him.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2020975#Post2020975

[Coach]

I can't teach them if I'm not around them.

I haven't seen my oldest daughter since last October. Her choice. She told me that night that I was still her dad and that I was the only dad she'd ever known.

I haven't seen my youngest daughter since she and her younger brother and I got back from Spring Break in mid-March. Her choice

How come you don't see them? Don't you have a visitation schedule? Can that hurt you later if you don't?

[antlers]

My oldest daughter -21- is actually my STBXW's from a previous marriage. Her mother has schooled and encouraged her to where she doesn't want to see me.
My youngest daughter -13- has been greatly influenced by her mother and her older sister to where she doesn't want to see me either.
The petition papers say that the kids are supposed to spend about equal times with each parent, but it's not enforced...it's just a guideline. If the kids don't want to go, then they don't have to go.
There is no set visitation schedule. 'Hurting me later' is what my STBXW is counting on...and there's not a lot I can do about it currently.
They've been less successful with my son. He and I are spending good time together. I miss my girls, and it hurts, but it is what it is right now!
She has 'used' the kids as weapons against me.

[antlers]

Just some catching up...
The meeting that I had with my attorney a week and a half ago went really good. She put me at ease about a lot of things, and I feel very good about the situation (our case). I am very confident of her abilities after talking with her, and of her determination to fight for me and my best interests. I feel as good as one can under these dificult circumstances.
The meeting between the GAL and my son went well. She came to our house to meet with him. I didn't ask him anything about their meeting; I made myself scarce while they met.
My son is still with me. His mother's side had a family reunion a month ago, and he didn't want to go. I didn't influence him at all, but he wanted to stay with me. That really pissed his mother and her family off. That's when my son and his mom got into a fight in front of my house...because he didn't want to go with her. Her side had a big 4 day get together at the beach still going on, and he didn't want to go. I didn't influence him at all, but again, he wanted to stay with me. That pissed em' all off all over again. He and I just got back from a short trip to Texas and we squeezed a lot of fun into that short trip. I'm doing better with him than I've ever done. I've learned to not 'react'...I've learned that people aren't receptive to logic when they're pissed. He and I are really close right now. He is comfortable at our house.
I still wish things weren't the way they are...but they are. Trial is set for the 28th of July...not looking forward to that. She still hasn't cashed a single one of the child support checks I've given her. Still haven't seen my daughters in a long, long time. It's hotter than fire here this time of year, and the humidity sucks. The long distances I ride have been effectively cut in half because of this weather. But I'm still stayin' after it.