I was going through old emails looking for something and found this one from H dated 4/6. At the time, I was being given advice to avoid talking to him on his terms and set the time and place myself... which ticked him off and made him take the fuse out of my car and take me hostage during lunch to talk to me.
Quote:
I may have given you the wrong impression with what I said this morning. Allow me to clarify.
If you actually believe that you and I are where we are today because of some recent “outside influence”, then you are completely naive (I don’t mean that in a negative way) as to what’s been going on in our marriage over the past several years and how I feel about it and you. If you continue to dodge me and the talk I seriously need to have with you so you can understand why we are where we are, then what choice do I have?
Our marriage issues are between YOU AND ME alone, it’s OUR MARRIAGE! OW is completely innocent in all of this and does not deserve your harassment. She’s a good person. Her and OWH have their own issues to work out, as do we, and any effort by you towards her or him, or vice versa, is effort taken away from the core problems which reside solely in our respective marriages.
I was just re-reading it and remembering the emotion behind it for both of us. I had been hit with no time to process and he wanted to just tell me it's over and it's up to me to accept it, in a nutshell, and that there was nothing I could do about it... because he didn't love me and therefore never would again. He certainly did not ever tell me anything about why we were where we were or anything of the sort.
It's so hard seeing this to imagine that he will ever come back out of it. I know he will, one day, but this is not my H. (BTW - I called to expose to her H and I wouldn't call it harassment, it was OW who called and emailed me several times getting more and more hysterical... I said nothing further to her or him, so if anyone was harassing, it was her. But she's sweet and innocent, isn't she? LOL)
It helps to remember that he's in a fog.
Getting ready for the summer alone. I was looking forward to it, but now I'm starting to dread it - so much work and doing it all alone. It will feel good to finally have it done, though.
