This is a very weird line to walk, but it shows how emotional mature you have become. We don't have to like the choices our spouses have made/make, but at the same time we are respecting those choices. It is symbolic in that you have given your wife control of her choices and have taken control of yours...in other words derived independence from each others choices. I feel this is the reason why couples who get back together find their relationships greatly improved.....They have learned that choices are made and respected as a "team" as opposed to a "we". Were as "we" is a singular unit and a "team" is multiple individuals working together towards a common cause. Difference is slight, but it is there.
The bigger bonus is that the hatred you see in so many divorces 10-15 years down the road is gone. You have made the choice to see her choices without you in the picture and live with those choices positively. You have realized that you are not the cause of the choice she made....the cause is in herself.
As much as it doesn't feel like it....very little is actually done to intentionally hurt the LBS. What you have successfully done is realize that point.
