WHAT'S THE USE? WHY PUT OURSELVES THROUGH THIS CRAP?
That is for you to decide and figure out.
I can tell you what happened to me.
Right now you are standing and what you are focused on is
Originally Posted By: punkin
wondering if I even matter to him at all.
Look you have choices here. The door is open and no one will blame you for walking through it and saying toodleloo muthaf@cka...
BUT
You go on with your life and meet someone and its all giggles and smiles and then the same old punkin is there and she still hurts and she still doubts...
You can avoid this pain punkin. You can. I can give some ideas if you want.
Drinking helps for a while.
New people help for a while.
Join a circus.
Join a convent
But I am going to tell its like groundhog day. You still wake up to the same problem. The same doubts.
It is easy to put this all on H and run for the OZARKS.
Originally Posted By: punkin
But why would I want him too?
You may not. Are you who you want to be right now?
Nothing you would change in punkin?
Look at the beginning of my thread I asked these same questions.
IMO when you decide to stand you are really saying hold on here I'm not going to let this sh!t break me. I am not going to let someone dictate MY life and you start a search for answers...
At first you think those answers need to come from your spouse...then you realize
Those aren't the real questions.
It is not what H is doing punkin.
It is what YOU are doing with this time. You need this time so you gotta give H the Heisman(detach) cause you need your space and sanity to figure out YOU.
You can make your decisions from a place of strength and clarity.
Life is about suffering. Think about it.
Suffering=pain
Pain=growth
Growth is what we are here for.
Originally Posted By: punkin
Trying to stay sane is driving me insane.
You have to get a handle on this^^^^^
Don't snoop. Don't let yourself be dragged in. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you think of H.
Just F@CKING do it hear me! No excuses.
I know you don't see it this way but you have been given a wonderful opportunity...
What will you do with it?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
