If you read my sitch below, you'll see the ups and downs and now the craziness that's set in. I'm well aware of the mistakes I've made, although I don't feel that H's actions were/are justified one bit.

I need help. I am ashamed to say that I'm still torn.

In my heart, I don't want a D.. but what other choice do I have? My H hates me. He has gone to a L and wants the D (athough I'm still waiting to be served)

H has made up his mind and he strongly feels that his R with OW and the baby she is carrying (which may be his) has nothing to do with our M. He thinks it has nothing to do with the fact he doesn't want to be with me and wants nothing to do with me. How can I make him realize that he is wrong?

I know I need to work on me.

Just need any help.

I'm devastated but trying to be strong. Can you help?

M: 32
H: 34
S:5
D: 3
D: 1
Together 11 years
Married 7
Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off)
ILYBINILWY: 08/09

"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting."
-Laura Munson