Nothing fits

[mishka422]

You are all such amazing people and I truly have no idea where I would be without you.

I took a whole Ambien and went to bed since I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without it. About an hour later I felt someone holding my hands and I pulled myself out of my drugged stupor to Gabe sitting on the side of the bed crying and apologizing for what he did and telling me that he has been being selfish and wants to do what it takes to make our R work. WHOA! Freaked me out but I was so drugged I couldn't make a coherent statement. I just hugged him and told him we would talk about this further when I could concentrate.

Actions will prove what he is truly thinking it's going to take. I already know that if we decide that there is any possibility of developing this into more than what it is right now, he will have to come to counseling with me and also go to IC. He's not going to like those stipulations either but I know for a fact that is another line item I won't budge on.

Still totally scared but I feel really good that I was able to set that boundary out there and know that I would be fine no matter what he did about it. Yes, it didn't make it any less painfull when he ran away, but there was a peace of mind that I did what I needed to do.