Isn't this what many forum members have been telling you all along?
Telling your W her feelings are WRONG is really not much better than you used to be with her. My H used to tell me all the time my feelings were wrong and I can tell you that it killed a ton of love and respect I had for him. I got so tired of hearing how wrong my feelings were I stopped telling him things.
My feelings were wrong when my dad died. My feelings were wrong when I got sick. My feelings were wrong when the wind blew the wrong way. It is a horrifying way to live.
I told him for close to a decade my feelings were not wrong even if he didn't agree with them. It's maddening and I can tell you do all you can do to stop it now or else your W will continue to have terrible feelings towards you.
I guess I am confused as to what you are taking away from this forum because the post you just made is the very basis of this forum (validation to improve communication).
