Question

[ClingingToHope]

I don't know. It sounds like there's a little fear there. Just keep all doors open in your life. If by some miracle H grows up then that door is open. But why close the door to everyone else?

If someone great comes along who totally falls for you then he'll be more than willing to put up with H and anything he might pull.

I am on a totally opposite side of things here, but I will second what Lucky said. I don't know of any man who wouldn't be hurt when their ex-wives or wives they left behind found someone else and was with someone else. Even if we don't want to be with you, the vast majority don't want you to be with someone else.

I've thought about how I'll react when STBXW dates someone -- she may have already although I don't think so. I know it hurt when I had my suspicions. When you've been with someone you don't want that person to be with anyone else -- period.

I didn't leave. I wanted to stay and fight for the M. Now that I've been gone and realized how little I was getting out of the relationship I see things much more clearly. Still, it doesn't mean that I'll ever totally get over STBXW and not have it bother me she is with someone else.

I remember my dad never, ever, as far as I can remember, badmouthed my mom even though she paraded through a series of men after the D.

The more I travel down this path, the more I admire him. I always thought of him as weak because drinking got the better of him. But he never trashed my mom and she trashed him all the time.

Sorry for the tangent.