I am back...and finding me

[ericmsant2]

B - as always thank you. I think I am finding that area of peace that we all look for. I'm not sure if this is acceptance or what but I am finding some comfort.

I still am very much in love with my wife. Enough so that our interactions are cordial. I know that emotionally I am closed off to her. Although I miss her I feel like I cannot let her in. Her actions continue to say that she has moved on,so I have accepted it and hope that one day she comes to a realization that I am not the cause of all of her issues.

I spoke with my MIl today who is still holding out hope. Still believes that the M can be saved. My MIL is in pain - she is still angry with my W, yet continues to show my W love. We spoke in length about me and W.

My MIL confirmed what I have finally begun to accept and that is that 1) I was not the monster that I was made out to be 2) I have always been a good father and that now I am a great father 3) that I am a good man. My MIL feels that I should not budge on the custody issue.

Her comments about my W were not as pleasant. She feels my W is living in a dream, is not taking her mother responsibilites seriously and is infatuated with OM.

I tried to explain to her that my W is going thru a lot. She is trying to be a "strong" person right now. She is trying to really find outwho she is. I also explained that W will need to learn the lessons of life on her own. That MIL and I cannot fix this. As I explained to MIL, I was offered the opportunity to make mistakes in life and that my W shoulld be afford the samE. Interesting I thought to myself...here I am justifying my W behavior. So questionb for this wonderful people on the boards. Is this normal? Is it normal to defend someone who right now feelsis trying to D me.

Eric