you've all been right for so long. i've been so stupid to keep holding on. i'm an idiot, a big fat moron.

yeah - i'm feeling really really down.

today is my birthday. he took off friday. went away for the weekend. came back with a flower to plant in the front yard, a tshirt and card he bought on the way home (spent less on that than he did going out friday- i know the thought is supposed to count, but....)
today a text, but that was it. came home over 3 hours later (he was at work, just not working - hanging out with brother & friend (i drove past on way to get milk). came home & didn't say anything.

even a roommate would do more for their roommate's birthday. hell, even my XH's family wished me happy bday. i got texts & facebook messages all day.

i'm so hurt, so disappointed, so angry and frustrated and a million other dark, sad, miserable, worthless thoughts (i know i'm not worthless, just the feeling). the lack of respect, appreciation....anything. lack of love - you don't treat someone you love like this, you celebrate their arrival in the world, you make them feel like the center of your universe. you make them aware how much you appreciate the fact that they were born and they are apart of your life.
you don't make other plans, buy something as an afterthought, blow them off.....


the notice i gave him almost 30 days ago was verbal and if he doesn't leave, i have to get a written - i have a call into a lawyer and i talked to a police officer. i deleted him and his family from facebook. i also deleted their numbers from my phone.
i wish there was a live chat feature here

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.