Scwred up and need advice

[CPCajun]

First, I am not the best at telling a story nor writing, so please bear with me. Plus I rewrote this several time and still don't think I got it right.

Well I am new to the soon to be divorced club. Been married for 9 years now. My wife told me 2 weeks ago that she was not in love with me. We had one fight, like many before, but this one made it the last straw for her.I brought up some minor things about the kids and their chores when she came home from work. I knew she had a bad day,but I didn't put that first. We argued, and I left to go cool off on the back of our farm. I needed time to cool off. She came out to me and started arguing with me. During this time, it was hot and the sun was blaring, so I was wearing a hat and glasses. She wanted to see me looking at her, so she went to pull them off me. As a reaction I defensively blocked her in the process hitting her. No closed fist ,just a instinct of swatting her away. I am not making excuses thought, I hit her.
She left, but I followed and apologized, but it did not help. That's when I got the I don't love you anymore and want a divorce.
This goes way back as I do have a temper and to be can be verbally abusive. I used to be physically abusive, but I did work on that and learned it was wrong. Until the last fight when i did the defensive hit.She told me she didn't want me to ever touch her again. It hit me hard. I knew I really messed up. She said that it was over.

Being we are strapped on finances, I moved out to the little mom in law apartment we have in the back of the house. I spent a bit and bought the Divorce Buster book and have been reading it, as well as reading on here.

I tried the not contacting her and going dark but, It is hard to break off all communication since we still are able to see each other. It worked for a few days into she started coming into the apartment wanting to talk. I tried to tell her she and I needed space, but she continues. When she does, I do now try to listen to every word and not fight or argue. This has worked until today. I finally came to her to talk, not about us, but our(my step)daughter. She is 14 but is now seeing a 18 year old boy. I did not approve, but she insisted it was a phase and they will break up quickly. I told (I know wrong) my wife that it is still wrong and something needs to be done. She disagreed saying interfering will drive her to the "boy". Then the fight began again. Now I am back to square one.


Sorry about the rambling in all directions, but I am trying to figure out what steps do I need to take.

On a up side,This will also help my writing skills.