WAW EA told her to leave

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She went on to say that she wants someone to help her deal with me, not our R

Dave to W: "Well, then you see the HMO C. I need help with a different issue. I don't go to a dentist when I need an ENT...but knock yourself out."

Part two this am is that she still says that I don't get it,that I don't understand what she wants - I told her yes that I do, you want to leave. You have the money and you can (I think she is looking at renting a house right behind us possibly). She said she wants all of this to be friendly and I said it is what it is. She's afraid I will be very mean and nasty about it and she's scared of me.

You are not obligated in anyway to alleviate her fears. She is scared b/c she wants a fantasy friendly D which isn't real life, therefore, she is afraid that LIFE will be mean to her. It might not go her way. And as Puppy is fond of pointing out, they put that "v" in the middle of the last names for a reason. Dave, you do have a bulldog L, right?

Part three is that I have really been trying very hard to connect with our four kids another 180 - doing very well with two of them- well she says today that it seems I'm trying to rally them around me,

She's mind reading. Point out to her that she cannot possibly know what your motivations are for reconnecting with your children. But if she's interested, here is the reason:

I told her that I'm their father and will be forever and there's nothing wrong with that. I know it's way late in life, but I hope to have a few more years left and I will be part of their lives regardless!

The tone I get from her is that she's jealous of me doing this with the kids- she's raised them all according to her and I should fall in line being the bad guy to them as well as her - I've caused the marriage to fall apart because of my emotional abuse towards her and she knows that if she is the one to leave, she will get the black eye initially, not me.

Here comes Real Life.

So god only knows what new bomb has been loaded for tonight R talk- all I know is I'm scared as hell that I don't blow it! I will stay cool - but I could really use some advice before stepping into the ring!

You are doing a fine job staying focused and clear and measured. Do not let her throw you. Listen more than you speak. Be compassionate. Be in control of Dave. Be strong and observe those boundaries.

Let us know how it goes.
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