Hey Mish, just checking in...see? He came home. And yes I said home, he lives there with you, he sleeps there with you, he does nice things around the house, he doesn't just show up at bedtime for sex. Right? I base my observations on your posts...
I know our situations are vastly different but we both have histories with cheating husbands. In my case when Dan came back for a few months, if I wanted sex and he didn't, I would get all emotional, weepy, ask him why he didn't want to sleep with me when he slept with her, what I could do to make him want me more, etc. His response, "Stop acting like that it is not attractive."
Now I know he has his own issues but he had a point. If you come across as wimpy, needy, whiny, well nobody is attracted by that. Did you have a right to be thrown off by seeing the broom at his workplace? Yes you did. But Gabe has a point, the only way you guys can move forward is if you BOTH move forward, you have to choose to leave that stuff in the past.
And it doesn't mean you can't be bothered by it. But you tell him up front, "Hey Gabe it kind of sucker-punched me to see her at your work last night. I can accept that I will run into her from time to time in our community but if we are going to move forward together, then you need to know I am not comfortable with you being FB friends. That crosses a line for me and if we are going to move forward, with me respecting your needs, then I ask that you respect mine."
