6 MONTHS IN AND FEELING A WOBBLE........

[lalxx]

Thank you for your thoughts Eric - I have been in contemplative mood of late and i see this as a huge step forward for me.
I have stopped running around keeping myself busy so that I don't constantly think about my situation and I have been ....well.....just me again.
I have found that I am thinking of me and the children without placing us in the context of my husband's MLC. I have realsied that he is no longer the first thing that I think about when I awake or when my 'mask' drops and I am alone my head is no longer filled with him.

I have also stopped beating myself up for the mistakes I amde during the last 2 years of my marriage - I stopped saying to myself 'P, you behaved like that BECAUSE H did x/y/z' - I have started to reconcile my actions and words and the impact they had on the demise of my marriage (I have paid lip service to this part for the last 6/7 months but in recent weeks I have not been able to hide from me anymore).

I have noticed that my shouders are less taught and my smile is more relaxed and my friends have noticed this.

I am not out of the (MLC) woods by any means, but I feel that I am on the right path and making small yet significant changes which have taken roots in my soul.

I have definitely let go of my anger towards my husband and whilst I still feel sad I feel blessed to have loved a man and been with him for seventeen and a half years. I know the truth of my marriage and our love was real.

I have become less focussed on the 'outcome' of my journey and am enjoying it every day for what it is - a chance for me to grow and end up in a better place.

Eric, your recent, gut wrenchingly, honest posts have helped me enormously to get myself into a place of calm detachment - THANK YOU!

God bless,

lalxx