One of the BEST things my C taught me was this: Not every contact a WAS in an affair makes requires an immediate response or a response at all.
This was drilled in my head (mostly because I had so much anxiety and was so emotionally reactive to my H) for months and months and months. IMO it was GREAT advice for me and maybe will help you out a little too.
Your H can say anything he likes but what he will actually do (or be allowed to do) are two very different things.
In the future if he asks about taking things that belong to you I would simply say: The division of JOINT property will take place with my attny.
You have given him several opportunities to sit down and talk with you about finances and such and each time it didn't happen.
For different reasons emotions are running high for the both of you. Lay low for a few days and regroup.
