Had a good weekend. Stayed busy, got a lot of work done and had fun playing music and being with the kids.
Sun. night, I asked W if she had got a lawyer yet. She said no, why? I asked if she would like to continue MC. She said she didn't see the point, that I didn't like what the C had to say. I wanted the C to put all the blame on her, I didn't accept any responsibility for anything, blah, blah, blah. (All of which isn't true)
So I said, "Okay, I will get a L this week and we can get started on legally ending this M." She continued saying she is done, I can't try anymore by myself....all the same crap. I said, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I know you have been frustrated in the past with me. I have not always been fun to be around. I am going to the C again to help me work on my shortcomings. I think this M can be saved and made better than it was. I understand if you don't agree and am okay with that. If you are sure that's what you want, let's not put it off any longer."
I then turned to go outside. She said to stay and eat supper. Don't want to, not hungry. Stay and sit down. What's left to talk about? She didn't mean that she wanted to get the L involved right now, just that it was a possibility down the road. WTF?
I went out in the shed, and she followed a few minutes later. I told her I had talked to the school board V.P. about a few things. Not enough time to go into all of it here. She got caught in more lies, stretching the truth, and partial truths. Like how I was the only one who thought anything was going on with her and the super. Not true.
Anyway, she backed off of everything. Again. Like she has before. I am out enjoying life and doing things for myself and she doesn't like it one bit. She admitted she doesn't know what she would do or where she would live if she left.
How to turn the corner? I know things won't be all lovey dovey overnight. It seems like we have been her a time of two and it always reverts back to what it was. Is it because her heart's not really in it, or is it something I am doing wrong?
I'm ready to move on with or without her. Preferably with her. How do I maximize my DB efforts so this doesn't slip back into the same old crap?
