I think this is my home for the next 6 months...

[beingreal]

H called twice last night. Once just to say "thank you" for the clothes my father sent. Apparently my dad sent some really nice things. And he wanted to tell me he was sending some emails.

And that was all. No snide remarks, no blaming or woe-is-me crap. I had given him a box with some of his stuff in it that I'd been collecting as I'd found it. He asked me if I knew that my bite guard was in it. S2 must have taken it out of the case & threw it in the box.

"No, no I didn't. Just hang onto it, I'll get it sometime."

"That's okay. I dropped it in the toilet by accident. I was just holding it & *plop* in it went. Naw, I'm kidding. I have it here."

"You're funny."

"Yeah, I am funny."



I looked at the email today. It read...

(smiley face) Hi W, just a brief message to thank you and to give you the info on the fanfoto information from "The Ballpark" today, here it is, you go to http://www.blahblah.com/fanfoto and click on "Click Here to Find Your Photos>06.13.10 Vs. Somewhere>then from select your gallery choose: {particular gallery info}....thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing from you if you enjoy them....

(broken heart icon) H



I don't know if it's reaching out. Or a touch and go. Or whatever the hell it is.

I think there is a difference between a safe place to land and a safety net, though.

I don't want him thinking he wants to come back because he is too afraid to start over again on his own. He can't hide behind me--we would be right back here in 6 months, if not sooner.


I'm almost annoyed with him for this. Don't come back to me because you're afraid. A phone call and an email do not make for a reconciliation. No one can change in 48 hours. no one can go from total MLC cad to ready to work on things in two days.

Of course, I am probably reading waaayyyy too much into it & I need to stop. He is in an awful place, he is hurting, somewhere inside he remembered that I'm a safe place for him. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I do know that's not enough.

Suggestions? Comments? 2x4s?