Thanks, Wii! I still have about one coughing fit/attack per day, and then a few times a day where I cough up junk (sorry for the TMI!). Hopefully it will be gone for real soon!
Heading out to my summer college class...Linguistics. Yay! After this only one more class and I have my ESL endorsement...phew!
So much to update and yet so little. Nothing new under the sun, they say. I talked to Jeff for about an hour last night--thanks Jeff!--after Dan had a classic Dan episode with me. I handled it differently but I still need to draw stronger boundaries.
Long story but basically he has been gone a week, got back late Saturday. Called Sunday afternoon to see what we were up to (technically on the calendar it was 'his' day but we swapped weekends bc of the trip and he had them last weekend, or more accurately his mom had them most of the time)...
Anyway he called we were heading out to school playground/lot to work on riding bike without training wheels (Nathan). After 25 frustrating minutes of trying to 'teach' balance to a 7 1/2 year old (can't teach that!!) Dan showed up. I said great, take over...he began yelling, griping, snapping at Nathan bc he wasn't doing it right....
I interjected, pulled him aside asked him to stop being nasty to Nathan. Which led him to going off on a tirade about how
*HIS MOM taught him to ride a bike, HIS MOM taught him how to do everything because his dad was NEVER there, etc etc...
*I had the best setup of any woman he knows, none of the women in his family ever got to stay home with the kids and yet all I did was sit and watch Fox news and let the kids vegetate on the computer or watching cartoons
*Why did I put them in day care last week (Nathan mentioned on the phone to Dan a couple evening last week that he had been at day care), I had the summer off so what was I doing all day that they had to be stuck in day care, if I didn't want them I should just let his parents have them during the day...I started to explain that I had meetings but he just went on fuming and I realized I didn't have to explain myself
So I said, back to the point, I may not be an athletic coach but as a teacher I DO KNOW some things and you need to find positives when working with kids not all negatives. He replied that when he was working w/Nate on baseball he did point out positives. I asked what the problem was today, why he couldn't find anything nice to say, and he said, "I guess because YOU'RE here..."
So I took Sydney and we left Dan and Nathan to finish up. I was bawling because I still allow his words to hurt me, being a mom is my favorite job and he basically told me I suck at it...
Anyway we left and he came back later with Nathan. Said he would pick them up after the game tonight (monday) I asked why, he said cause it was his night, I said not this week on the calendar (we alternate Mondays).
He got up and said he was leaving. I walked outside w/him to be away from the kids, said I didn't know he wanted them this week, he said we talked about switching weeks before he left last week. I said yes, we agreed to swap weekends, and we did, I didn't know there was more. He said I was just "beyond him" and he couldn't talk to me, I gave in to my nasty side and said, "beyond you, I don't know, above you, yes"...
Anyway he left and I sent a simple text, "You can have the kids if you want them this week I just need to know what days so I can make plans"
He replied an hour later, "We already made plans but of course like always you don't listen"
I didn't touch that...
So an hour later he sends, "That's okay I am sure the kids don't miss me anyway so just forget it."
Ignored
Then he sends, "What are you trying to pull exactly I don't understand what you are trying to do"
I replied, "Ummm...as I stated I am trying to say you can have the kids if you want them I just need to know when"
He was on a roll, as I was sending it he sent two more "I have been working nonstop for 6 months I just wasnted to see my children and you are being so difficult it is just typical" and then "I am more stressed and depressed than I have ever been and I don't understand what you are doing you only wanted to talk to me about two meetings you had"
Seriously, did he need a translator??? What part of "Hey, you can have them when you want, I just need to know for planning purposes" was hard to understand or came off as manipulative or difficult?
I know I shouldn't take the bait but after the last text I said, "I am being typical in that I am flexible with the schedule to meet your needs as I always have been. In fact you brought up my two meetings when you were calling me a bad mother so you are lucky I speak to you at all"
And that shut him up. This whole pity parade thing is getting so, so old!
