People change without intention all the time. Did you intend to become a woman whose anger got the best of her? I'm guessing not. You can't change someone, but you can set an example, influence people ... it's up to you.
Right now your H seems to be doing something he enjoys, for himself, and you seem very resentful of that. Why?
I don't think anyone said that all sitchs fit into nice neat boxes, but although they are all very different, we are not terminally unique either. If the underlying philosophy works then it's worth taking a look at. GAL. 180s. Do something different. Do more of what works and less of what doesn't.
He got to the end of his rope and now you are ready to do what you can to make the changes that you agree are worthy and necessary, for yourself. But now you want him to see that and be all 'ok, good, so let's move forward'. It doesn't work that way. He likely feels that he's been talking to you about this for years .. and he also feels like you can't change. Well we both know that's not true. You have taken major steps towards healing yourself, continue to focus on that and let your H figure himself out. Even if he's not MLC he's on a journey of sorts.
If you want a definite answer you can ask him and get one. It just won't likely be what you want to hear. Time is on your side ... use it as a gift ... use it to continue the good work you've started on yourself. Get real with you. REALLY real.
Start with a beginners mind. That's in there too, and it's a good tip.
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
