The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Journaling:
Had a great time away. Boys weekend at the beach. I think I even saw the beach during that time
Good to get some perspective and to rejuvenate. Really helped a lot. Had drinks with a couple of female friends last night. That was relaxing as well, although it causes me to think. I like them as friends. I do. But one of them has recently left her husband (he's addicted to pain meds) and it was hard to hear some of her thinking. I don't live that life and don't judge, but it is hard to hear sometimes.
Just the same, looking forward to the week and next weekend with the kids. Had very little contact with stbx. She did ping me this morning asking about my plans. She seems to be relaxing a bit which is helpful - I don't have such an adversarial person actively trying to hurt me. That lets things quiet down a little.
House showing yesterday. One can only hope it sells, but I know better. I highly doubt it will sell any time soon. Talked to an old friend over the weekend as well and was telling her that I at least have built up my stbx-antibodies. I can survive and thrive in my own house regardless of her actions. The time away prior and just this past weekend has helped me see things differently. I'm starting to realize what has happened more and more and I understand that I just wasn't ready to listen to the counselor early on. I see what she saw back then and her comments make a lot more sense now. There really was nothing I could do, and at this point I won't. I have dropped it. I sometimes feel like I want things to have turned out differently, but I think some of that is normal. I have a long way to go to finish healing, but I am very much on the path. I can see that.
Kids seem to be doing better. I was reading somewhere that when they sense that their parents can handle it, they begin to express their own feelings. I hope that is correct because I see that they need that opportunity. I hope for them it happens sooner rather than later.

AJ