Oh, that reminds me -- gotta' let the xW know the appointment time for S9 and S5's dental check-ups next month. As much sugar as she feeds them I don't want to think how many cavities they might be looking at this time.
...
On another note, Father's Day is Sunday. This year it falls during xW's week of custody -- and so she has been pressing me for information on what I want to do with that day, if I am expecting the whole day or not. She also tried last night, during the nightly call that our S's have with the other parent, to engage me in this conversation via S9 -- thus, again, using our S's to be the go-between in passing her messages to me. I replied, at first, that I was flexible and would leave much of the decision making to the boys, but that's never enough for her: she wanted more details -- I eventually told her to just email me.
I wish she would learn to leave the boys out of it.
I gathered in her correspondence with S9 and S5 that the reason she wants to press this issue and get an answer is because she wants to be able to reclaim some of the day for herself. And the reason she wants so badly for this on this day is because she is planning to take our S's over to the OM's parents place to celebrate Father's Day with them. As if Jabba-the-Hutt's parents are to mean more to S9 and S5 on this day than their very own father.
I know that's how she's thinking, because I know her all too well. I could hear it in the near-desperate edge to her voice as she spoke with our S's, trying to charge them up about the father of her current H, the A co-conspirator.
That, on my own account, doesn't bother me nearly as much as it probably should. The thought I did have at that moment was that in seeing all this activity and behavior on their part (xW's and OM's) these last few months to now treat OM's parents as if they were actual, bona fide grand-parents to my S's, is that my own mother -- a far, far better role model and a much more honest and loving human being -- does not get to enjoy such regular exposure to her own flesh-and-blood grandchildren when they do. I am saddened for my Mom's sake more so than my own.
Life is just not fair. I know that.
As for Father's Day, by the terms of our consent order, the custody for Mother's Day/Father's Days each begin at 8 AM and end at 7 PM. I know xW knows this, but she's playing dumb in hopes that I would yield to her enough of the day to overshadow my portion thereof, if she can, through her H's parents. But still I replied to her latest email and told her that as long as the boys and I had enough time to celebrate (through dinner, activities and entertainment) I was amenable to taking whatever time was actually necessary -- and it depended on what my S's and I decided together to do on Sunday, however long they felt we needed. (I'm thinking dinner and some form of entertainment -- and amusement park, or a movie.) It might not require the entire 11 hour period.
We shall see. I suspect xW will be upset that I am again "interfering" with her plans during "her" day of custody. Just like last year and the year before. Begrudging that I should ever be allowed to celebrate Father's Day on my own behalf. It's painfully obvious she has that much hatred in her for me.
While I muse about it here now in this thread, I am uncharacteristically unconcerned, either way, if she is inconvenienced or not. I just wanted to record this for myself and everyone here in DB.
If anyone has any thoughts, however, I'd be curious to hear them.
