Yes... we moved up here about 11 months ago so that he could open a skateboard shop. He said we could live with his parents until we were able to move out on our own. Well let's just say his skateboard shop and his customers became the focus of all of his attention and april 28 he said he wanted a divorce.
But has not made any efforts of moving out. I feel so trapped I wish I could move out but I dont make enough money, I am still a student and my job doesnt pay that well.
Me30 H38 D6 Married for 7 years Relationship before marriage 3 years Husband is sending me on the biggest rollercoaster in the world.
Yes... we moved up here about 11 months ago so that he could open a skateboard shop. He said we could live with his parents until we were able to move out on our own. Well let's just say his skateboard shop and his customers became the focus of all of his attention and april 28 he said he wanted a divorce.
But has not made any efforts of moving out. I feel so trapped I wish I could move out but I dont make enough money, I am still a student and my job doesnt pay that well.
So I think you have two choices: stay where you are, doing what you are doing and suffering. Or...get another job that pays more so you can move out (maybe find a roommate to help with expenses) and take control of your life instead of relying on a most unreliable, deadbeat dad.
Caution: don't reply with a bunch of reasons why you can't do this. Think it through. Think of ways you CAN make this happen. I want you to think of the many people on this planet who have done much more with even LESS than you have now. I want you to find inspiration and see that strength in yourself --- then do it. Remember, you are MODELING for your child. She's watching you.
Get big!
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Sorry if I missed something in your posts, but do your in-laws with whom you are living know your husband is smoking and selling pot? It sounds like an intervention is needed and some boundaries set by them and you on your behalf and that of your daughter. He may continue to say he has nowhere to go, but getting kicked out of the house with the possibility of having to live on the streets is the consequence for not contributing financially and for breaking the law. I know this is a very "tough love" approach, and I know better than anyone that it's easier said than done to kick someone out, but your daughter doesn't need to be in that environment. It also could put you and your in-laws in a tight spot if he gets caught at what he is doing and the police come to their/your home. Try to stay strong and quit beating yourself up. If you don't think you can for yourself, then do it for your daughter.
Yesterday he said he was taking my daughter to see the Karate Kid. I thought that was fine since he never really spends time with her.
They left at 10:00 and didnt come home until 7:00. Then my daughter tells me they went this this lady who was really nice and the lady took her to her house and painted her nails and went to chuckie cheese. I was flabergasted who is this woman. I asked H and he said oh she is just a lady I teach her kids skateboarding.
I said well you should have told me you were letting this lady take my daughter. And he said she's my daughter too I can make the judgment on where she goes without your permission.
Then he said he was done with our relationship for good and to get the divorce papers because he cant afford an attorney. I videotaped where he keeps his pot and bond which are in the bathroom after repeatedly telling him to move it he doesnt think there is anything wrong with that.
His parent dont care that he smokes pot, I guess, they keep saying they will talk to him but they never do.
He says he is going to change his phone number so I have no way to get ahold of him. And I told him I want my computer back and I am worried he is going to destroy it. Should I go with a police officer to get it back of his mom. I am letting him use it until June 21.
He thinks he can let this lady I dont know take care of our daughter...i dont know if its his OW. BUt he says he has nowhere to live although last night he packed up all of his stuff. I dont really need help on DBing I just need advice with what i should do. Should I show the lawyer the video of the pot? Can he change his number so I cant get ahold of him?
Me30 H38 D6 Married for 7 years Relationship before marriage 3 years Husband is sending me on the biggest rollercoaster in the world.
