I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[timehealsall]

Hey AP and everyone,

I'm eh, okay, I guess.

Kept very busy this weekend. I actually confronted him on Saturday after he had dropped S off and I asked him when we would sit down and talk about things (D talk). He said whenever I'd like. So I said okay and btw, you never told me what your L said. He said that he sat down and discussed everything with him (our finances) and that we would have to handle it like a business and that that would be the best way to go about things.

He never mentioned separation or D or what... only finances. ugh.

I then said that I just want this to be handled the best way possible because I don't want to hurt the kids. He then said that the kids are fine and I said that no, they've seen enough and that his actions are affecting him and I'm not worried about him or me, but only the 3 kids.

I then said to him calmly that I wish he had been honest with me from the beginning. I would have accepted the hurtful truth because I'd have no other choice but to accept it. He then said that he had been truthful and that he just doesnt want to be with me anymore. I said that's fine but he should have been honest that he was still with OW.

He said what are you talking about. calling me crazy. I said no, I have spoken with OW and she has told me that you two never split up and have been together the entire time. He said I was crazy and that it's funny how we're friends and chatting now. So I said, what's the big deal? why keep going back and forth? I would have let you go..

So he says that I'm crazy (again) and starts walking away. So I said, okay, let's settle this and I start dialing the OW's number, he starts walking away and gets in car and leaves.

I felt so much better after that. I couldn't keep it bottled up anymore.

He just denies, deflects and denies.

I didn't hear from him until later that night when he called (but didn't leave a VM) and then text me to ask me how S's game was. I replied to him an hour or so later saying it went well.

yesterday, S had a tournament and H text me asking that S be ready and the time he was coming to get him and that I please have him come down (rather than him coming up to get him).

I then replied back that I'd be taking the kids to the tournament and he would see them there.

I'm taking control back of my life. He does not call the shots here anymore.

Thing is in the emails I've seen that he has sent to a few "friends" overseas in that same place, he says "I'm making big moves in my life, am leaving the wife and starting a new busines..." I see that he has been starting something up..

Part of me wants that happy ending... Wants him to come back and be the devoted and loyal man he once was.. a part of me wants to move on and find someone else who will value me and treasure me and treat me the way I deserve.

let's say "if" I wanted him to come back, what do I do? would the LRT apply to this?

We dont' really talk much when we see each other. I remain calm and cool but he doesn't even acknowledge me.

Anyone out there in H's position that can relate and shed some light?

I'm so lost and confused..