My Story - Advice Welcom

[mishka422]

Sunny,

You said some very important things in your second post and I'd like to expand on those.

I think it's good for me but I don't think it will help much in terms of the M.

Good for YOU! Do what feels good for you without considering how your H will react to it. This is not about him right now. He has manipulated this into being all about him....NOPE! Not even close.

I have wanted to become an official member. My H has not. I don't want to tick him off, but I want to belong.

Ummmm......see above!! Again, good for you. Why doesn't your H want to become a member? You've been going there for a year. Is your membership at another local church currently? What is stopping him? Does it really matter? Do what YOU want to do unless you are required by the church to move your membership as a family. That would be overstepping at the moment.

without worrying about what he was thinking about what I was doing/not doing!

Again....why worry about what he is thinking? Do what you feel you need to do at that time. If you need to hibernate, then do that. Just don't let it become your daily habit. One day of it is allowed though! Heck, everyone needs a down day every now and then. It is meant to recharge, not wallow.

My biggest problem is I am feeling very much alone!

Darling, you are anything but alone. We are here for you. Please know that you can say anything to us here and it will be received, commented on, advice given about it, and...if needed.....gentle 2x4's given.

My ladies church group is on hiatus in the summer too and it's really difficult when you're having a hard time to be away from that support. Even if they don't know your situation, it's still nice to be around other women of faith that are positive people.

IC is the best gift you can give yourself. Hopefully your therapist is assesment based and not so much on just talk therapy. Talking about your problems with them is important so they get an understanding of where you are coming from, but there comes a time when they must start assesing the underlying issues and, through your own reflections, come to help you understand them. They are not there to give you solutions, but to point you in the right direction to find them yourself.