I know I need help in handling all of this. I hate the rollercoaster of emotions. I hate wondering if I should call him/text him or not call/not text. I hate wondering who he is thinking about or conversing with that is not me. I hate feeling like everything I do is being scrutinized and sized up when HE is the one who is chosing to not work on this relationship. SO, he's not leaving FOR NOW. Yay. That's supposed to be great, right? Why does everything get to be up to him! If it weren't for the 3 kids I might say that he is right because I'm pretty fed up in this marriage myself right now. Although, I know divorce brings up more problems than it solves in most cases. HELP!
So.. did you suddenly steal my identity, or did I take yours?
I didn't post on the specifics of what to do with your relationship because I am still learning myself. What I will post on is how to help yourself feel better. You need to figure out a way to stop the train wreck of worry. It still carries me away at times, but when it hits me hard, I do all in my power to stop it. Here's how I attack it, if you like the ideas, great. If not, try to come up with some of your own:
1. Mentally throw up a Stop Sign. I'm a photographer.. very visual person.. this is my way of stopping my thought process in its tracks. 2. I distract my brain with something new... checking out the tv, hopping on the computer to check the weather.. anything but going back to the train wreck. 3. If the train wreck weasels its way back in before my brain is completely distracted... I get physical. Go for a walk, turn on some music and dance... heck I've even encouraged DD to play rough with me just to get the good fun energy flowing.
In short.. in with the good out with the bad. The hard part is recognizing when you need to do it.
Me 32, H 34, DD 3 M 6, T 8 Bomb 03/10 OW Bomb 6/5/10 Separate & NC 6/28/10 My 2nd EA Thread
