Newbie: going to try Ghandi method

[TimeHeals]

OW doesn't guide me.. doesn't tell me what to think or how to feel.

She listens and validates him... for now.

That's a wonderfully superficial relationship you have there.

You just invalidated him.

Now, I am not saying you should dignify an affair, but your communication needs some work.

It's OK to state your boundaries (e.g. I will not try to work on this M when there is a third party, and I have some thinking to do about how I am going deal with this).

"I will not discuss your affair with you while it is still going on" is good too.

But... maybe read up on listening and communication because he just gave you a clue about how you can improve yourself for yourself.

Best response: I am sorry you feel that I wasn't listening to you, but I am not going to dignify your infidelity while it is still going on by entertaining this discussion with you.