And here I am .... H's MLC ....

[PEI]

We had a good weekend, family day was fun - took the kids to a park and then out for supper. H seems more distant than usual, no, distant isn't the right word ... more 'friends' than usual, in that up until now we felt like lovers that were 'off', and now it seems like he's turning off that part and coming across like friends. I still catch him sneaking looks and he comments that I look good, but he's 'cooler' so to speak. We got along really well, lots of laughs etc. We stopped at a store on the way home after supper and I ran in. When I got back in the van he was chuckling and I asked what was so funny. He pointed at a guy getting into a van across the parking lot and said that buddy had 'totally checked me out', and I said 'yeah right'. H said 'oh yeah, elevator eyes and everything' to which I replied 'I doubt it, but if he did, why is that so funny?' and he says 'not funny that he checked you out, funny because he was so obvious about it!' Apparently not so obvious that I noticed!

Not attaching anything to it, but turned on the laptop to listen to music and he's recently downloaded a bunch of new music ... a lot more positive stuff. Even lots of positive relationship stuff ... weird for him, even in good times! Also lots of personal introspective stuff. Lyrics that speak to being broken, conflicted, asking for patience, talking about stuff like that. H really identifies with music and has often turned to music when he has trouble putting words to what's in his head. I find it interesting but not in a hopeful sort of way. Just think it's interesting that he's expanding the info that goes into his brain. At least it's not all negative now.

We had a nice time last night. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think he was feeling pressure from me. I need to back off on the subtle stuff too. I hate that when anything does happen, he follows up with 'I didn't intend to do that, sorry' ... he seems very conflicted. I've read several threads on here where the couple kept having an intimate relationship and it helped keep the connection, and I'm also getting lots of advice about not going there. Dunno, I really need to think about it I guess.

H asked if I would come over this evening as he wants to take the van and get the brakes done (with his brother in his yard) so I said sure. So, supper with the fam, and then an evening with the kids.

Peace
PEI