flow, when we are talking about surviving infidelity, by default we start with a broken trust. My caro amico John, is always surprised when on the phone I tell him I dont trust my H. Maybe I am not clear. It's not that I dont trust him on a daily basis, where he is, if he lies, etc. I trust that he is honest now. I am just not anymore in the bliss I was before that he "wouldnt do that". I KNOW now he is capable of being dishonest, look into my eyes and lie to me. That is what I have to learn to live with and at the same time love him again.
My worry on "a daily basis"-often is that if the OW pursues, tries to reconnect with him, pushes his buttons about all the things she gave up for him etc etc , I dont know how he will react. I would like to believe that he would tell me, but I know he will not.
Anyway, Passionate Marriage helped me very much to self soothe and I really listened to Ali when she said that I need to have some more self confidence. This is the worst thing that his affair caused to me. I feel... I am lacking in many areas. I feel my life is boring, my body has aged, my hair is short etc etc... That all is true but that doenst mean I dont have good parts as well. So, irrelevant to him, I need a boost.My best boost is to loose a couple of kilos. So I will work on that... K
