MLC, H and me

[courageous wife]

Thanks WN...I was kinda thinking the same thing.

I don't know why I am interested in this other than sometimes I doubt that H is really in MLC even though it has been pretty consistant. If he had acted like his normal self with his sister, then I would talk myself into doubting again. Just wondered if anyone else had seen these symptoms in their H's, so thankyou for replying WN!!!


Kids are with H and OW today through tomorrow. Not feeling as sick about it as I was the first time but we will see how I handle it tomorrow if the kids tell me all about it.

Met a friend after I got off work for a movie and then we ran to the "big city" and did a little shopping...nothing too exciting..just nice.

I am not sure what time H will bring kids home tomorrow or if he will want to work on the tree limb that fell so will be up and ready for whatever...supposed to have more rain tonight....lots of flood warnings all around us. My town will be ok as we are on a bluff but lots of roads closed all around us! In July, we will be begging for rain...gotta love the midwest!

[WhatNow]

I don't know why I am interested in this other than sometimes I doubt that H is really in MLC even though it has been pretty consistant.

know what you mean. Some of the behaviors are so weird.

Kids are with H and OW today through tomorrow. Not feeling as sick about it as I was the first time but we will see how I handle it tomorrow if the kids tell me all about it.

I can't imagine how you can stand it! My kids haven't seen OW since she was pursuing H at a party at our home pre-A. They thought she was bizarre then. They hate her now. H hasn't tried to get them together. I think he knows they would chew her up and spit her out....esp DD16, she doesn't pull any punches. He mentioned the other day that she never lets an opportunity to toss in a dig, pass by!

I had a hard time after he left with going NC with him. I asked the kids to NOT tell me about their contact with him. Them telling me stuff was a form of contact! I had explained why I was NC (it was for me to find some peace) and asked for their help. It helped.

[courageous wife]

"I asked the kids to NOT tell me about their contact with him. Them telling me stuff was a form of contact! I had explained why I was NC (it was for me to find some peace) and asked for their help. It helped."


That is great WN! On one hand, I want them to feel that they can talk to me but on the other, it is pretty dang hard to listen and remain "detached".

Did your kids decide to not see OW or was it your H's choice?

[WhatNow]

Oh they talk to me about him alright! Just not about where they go, who says what, what they do when he sees them.

H has never brought up OW to them or discussed what is going on with himself. Like i said tho, He can get a pretty good idea about how she would be received by DD16's digs and her references to OW as ho. I have had her do this a lot before he left. (He can try to insist on showing her respect, I will not!) That's actually why I refer to OW that way. I originally had a longer name for her!lol Since he has only seen each of them 4 times in almost 6 months, it isn't a big concern.

[courageous wife]

WN...our H's sound like they are in about the same place right now!

So, kids are home. H actually came into the house with them. Said he planned on working on the fallen tree limb but it started raining so now he won't until Tuesday.

H made it a point to say that they had gotten the hot rod out for a drive and D11 said "yeah, and Dad did a couple of burn outs" so I joked in disbelief saying no way would Dad do that. He smiled,

Told him we had some water in the basement. He asked if I had the fan on and dehumidifier and I said yes...

Noticed he was wearing a sweatshirt...it is a little cooler today but the rest of us were wearing shorts and tees.

Also noticed that he is wearing his mustache shorter and trimmer than ever. When I would cut his hair, he would barely let me touch it to trim it a little.

Kids said that OW's house in nice, only a 1 car garage. H is paying for storage for the hot rod. He will not have room for a lot of his stuff when he starts moving it. She has a little dog and a cat. H has never liked those little "yappy" dogs.

Oh and H made a comment about looking online for bicycle parts for D11's bike. D11 jumped right on that asking how he did that without a computer. He stammered a little and said that he went to OW's (actually used her name in my presence) Mom's house and used hers for about 1/2hr looking on ebay.

I thought his answer seemed a little too detailed but trying to not worry about it or assume it means anything. My first though when he said that was "crap!!!" I had hoped that OW"S family would the the undoing of their R and if she is letting him use her computer then there goes that but again...assuming is not good!

Think I handled myself ok with kids...tried to not ask questions, let them tell me stuff and acted like it was no big deal to me.

[Mila]

CW -

H has never liked those little "yappy" dogs

This is exactly like my H...he hates little lap dogs...and guess what, OW has one...He just has to learn to love it lol.

Don't assume that OW's mom approves of what's going on, maybe she wasn't even home when he used the computer...who knows

[seeking answers]

My H is the same way, hates yappy little dogs. ow has two, and they drive him nuts.

One evening not too far into the sitch H calls D11 when ow was out shopping. One of the little dogs sat there barking at H the whole time he was on the phone to D. H tells D how annoying the dog is. The dog proceeds to do a #2 on the floor right in front of H. H blew up and told D he had to go.

Did my heart good to know that H had to clean up after ow's yappy little dog. Karma comes in all forms.

[courageous wife]

Hi Mila and SA

Thanks for posting. I don't know why but I am feeling anxious and restless today since H dropped off the kids...not sure how to explain it. I feel like I "missed" something when he was here and it is bugging me...I just can't put my finger on it.

Trying to keep busy so I don't think about it but find myself coming back to the computer...checking here, checking my email...for what I don't know!!!!

So, better find something that will calm my nerves...too bad I am out of rocky road!!!

[newmama]

CW, what did you end up doing to calm your nerves? I wonder if hearing ALL OF THAT INFO about OW in one sitting was what made you anxious! (((hugs!)))

When you said you felt like you "missed" something- it might come to you when you are in the shower or when you wake up tomorrow!

yummmy...rocky road...love the candy, too!

[courageous wife]

HI NM

The kids didn't say a whole lot but it was enough I guess.

I tried taking a nice long bath, tried watching some TV, tried reading...finally gave up and went to bed but the mind just wouldn't shut off so here I am on the computer again.

Maybe I should try counting sheep?